PROFESSIONAL Friends Defence

Have you ever ran into people that couldn't stop bragging bout their friends? My goodness, bragging and bragging and bragging... Ever happened to you? Their mouth just keep going and going like verbal diarrhea. Dumb tribal shit they keep talking bout their friends that you're not even remotely interested in.

But when I was sitting around making this shit up, I asked myself, why do they bother talking bout their friends in the first place. I'll tell you why. Realize that most of the time they only start talking bout their "friend" when you run into something that they don't have. THEY'RE SCARED TO LOSE! 

Talking bout their friend a little bit is still fine, it's alright because sometimes we'd just wanna add something good to our conversation. But when they start teaching you things about what they heard from their friend. You gotta tell them to shut the f**k up.

"Listen Revron, I've gotta leave in 5 minutes time for my squash competition"

"Squash? I've got a friend who plays squash for the state and he's 17 now"

"I see. How long has he been playing?"

"Well I don't know but he's really good, oh and I see that you're using a Dunlop racquet. I don't think it's that good because my friend that is a PROFESSIONAL squash player says that Prince is still the best"

Ever run into that kinda idiot? That asshole doesn't care about what you ask him. All he does give a shit is about defending himself! Because he doesn't have it... but his "friend" does! That's what I call "My Friends Defence". They don't wanna speak about their friend so that they could introduce you to him/her. They wanna speak about their friend so that they could just control the conversation. 

And when you ask:

"Can you introduce that PROFESSIONAL squash friend of yours to me"

They'll say something like:

"Well he doesn't plays it anymore, so yea"

Don't you just feel like giving them a slap? I'll give you an advice. Go For It!

Now, sometimes you can't take it anymore and you have to help change the topic. And all I can ever think of saying was "CHANGE THE TOPIC ASSHOLE! CHANGE THE TOPIC!"

But you can't say that. You've gotta think of something more diplomatic and polite so that you wouldn't offend them!

So I came out with something that'll send him the message indirectly. And it goes like this:

"Revron, listen, I hate to be rude, but I just listened to tons of shit about your friend... Well it's a good thing but I just realize that it's actually not you. And I would like to hear more about you" 

That line itself is so powerful that it does 3 things instantly.

1) You'll make him realize he's got nothing himself

2) You'll gain respect from him

3) YOU SHUT HIM UP!

And speaking about "professionals" Let me ask you this, since when did "your friend" was qualified to be called a professional. Because you think so? or Because he's just better than his friends... 

But what if all his friends including you just really sucked. Would that count?

Or what if all his friends are just not interested in doing what he does and he's the only one doing it... Would that count? 

Everyone has a professional friend, from known to unknown, from skillful to not-so skillful, from paid to unpaid, from winning something to not winning anything. Everybody calls them professional somehow! The value of "professional" has been lowered these days don't you think?"